Mordechai, the Necromancer

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Got Ordered to Stop Wearing a Shirt

I went to Chicago this weekend to move into my new apartment (photos next post), and drove all through the night last night to get back in time to do things both Lauren and I had to do. That part of the story really has little to do with what I'm about to write, except for the fact that this news was delivered while I was in a peaceful slumber.

I was awoken this morning with a call by a fellow named Brian, the indoor soccer director at the Montgomery YMCA. My team, Dances with Wolves, is quite controversial as it stands, with myself getting red carded and the like. The first words out of Brian's mouth were "I've got to talk to you about your team."

I knew it couldn't be good.

Well, long story short, our jerseys, which have a "sponsor" logo on the back are to no longer be worn. Our "sponsor," Rolex, has deemed it fit to issue us a cease and desist order. On top of that, we can't just stop wearing the shirt...we have to destroy any and all existing shirts, players and fans. I have a gut feeling this letter isn't real, and I can't find any contact information to get ahold of Rolex's legal team. I'll get a copy of the letter tomorrow night when we take on Chocolate Babies, a game which will determine the sole possessor of first place. Perhaps it was the guy who I tried to go after last game. Hm.

Behold, the shirt design heard 'round the world.

Should be interesting. We've got some ideas on how to tackle this issue. I figured it would never become an issue, as it's not really defamation in any way, and it's basically free advertisement.

Dog Got Soaked Twice

So for anyone reading that doesn't know (and who reads this anyway), I have a very hyper, very playful, very medium sized little girl dog named Harley. She really is a great dog, but she loves to play and be outside. With that in mind, I try to let her have as much fun as she'd like out there.

Well, I let her out yesterday afternoon, the sun shining brightly in the sky, and after about thirty minutes I glanced over at the window. What do I see? Rain dripping from my roof. Thoroughly disgusted, I went out to retrieve my soggy puppy (she could have used the rain jacket I just bought), brought her in, and gave her a bath.

Bath time with a bigger dog is...well...interesting. Seeing as I hadn't had a shower yet at that time (don't hold that against me), I climbed in, swimsuit on, and proceeded to turn the shower on. It was a sad sight to behold. Harley laid at the bottom of the shower with the saddest look a dog can have while I washed her off.

Long story short, I ended the day with a clean dog.

Well I woke up about thirty minutes ago, let Harley out, and drifted back into my room to sleep for a few more minutes. What was I greeted with upon going to bring her in? A rain soaked dog.

Hooray.

In other news, Lauren and I spent a pleasant evening dining with my cousin Wesley and his wife Rebecca (never typed that before), and it was quite delicious. I'm sure pictures of the meal will end up floating around the Internet somewhere. Also, we are making the perilous journey to Chicago today. Time to move in to my new place. Pictures of it to come later this weekend.

My name is Brian, and yes, I "have a blog."

Got a Rain Jacket

I'll start with all the sporting news I have. Though I was suspended, my soccer team, Dances with Wolves managed to pull out a win against the only team that has ever beaten us. We won 7-4, and now face a showdown next Wednesday with the only other undefeated team. Ladies and gentlemen, this one is for all the marbles (sort of).

Also, the other soccer team I play on pulled out a win on Tuesday night, 2-1. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I did score both goals for our team. That's all I'll say about that, because I couldn't have scored without the rest of the team actually putting in a good effort (finally). I think having one sub actually made us play smarter for once. Thank goodness.

So I bought a very expensive rain jacket last night. I would, under most circumstances, never, ever buy a rain jacket that costs $80 (on sale), but such is the case that I find myself oft stranded in downtown Chicago during torrential downpours, along with a good rain jacket's abilty to stay waterproof and flex its muscle as an outer shell, I caved and bought one. I'm pretty pumped, though it's the exact same rain jacket I owned two years ago, except a reddish color.

Why do I need another jacket if I already had one? Someone decided i was a great idea to steal my precious jacket (which I bought at full price the first time) from my tailgate site at an Auburn game two seasons ago. Hope you are enjoying the jacket as much as I did.

I got the jacket at Moosejaw (a great site for any outdoors type stuff), and they run a rewards program that gives you one hundred points for every $10 that you spend. I've amassed over 2,500 points, which means I can get some free stuff now. I face a dilemma. It is one for the ages, mind you, and not something that should be taken lightly. If I choose the wrong jacket, the result could be something akin to what some people thought would happen when they fired up the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland.

Of these three jackets, which should I get? Or should I get one at all? All three are the same hoody-like material, so it's not a matter of comfort. Here are the nominees:

1. This lovely number is a peacoat-style jacket that has a hood attached to it. I really think it looks pretty cool, and when I wear a peacoat, I usually put a hood on underneath anyway, so that's essentially a moot point.

Color: Navy Blue

Price: 2,499 points

2. Jacket number two is similar to the first one, sans hood. It's got four pockets on the front (obviously), which I feel adds a bit of manliness to the jacket, even if it is only a glorified sweatshirt. I like this one too. Oh, decisions.

Color: Black

Price: 2,499 points

3. The last one is called the McLovin jacket. Hm. No pockets aside from the standard two on the front. I'm a bit worried that the collar won't fold down, because I just can't wear it like the picture to the left. I just can't. If it does, however, it makes a compelling argument to be bought.

Color: Navy Blue

Price: 1,999 points

And that's the jacket roundup. Which one to buy?

Got Red Carded

So tonight was the first true test for the other soccer team I play for, Dances with Wolves (the team I failed to mention in the previous post...the good team), and lo-and-behold if I don't get red carded at the end of the first half.

I'll go on record and say this:

Yes. I should have been red carded.

Jumping over the wall to attempt to fight your opponent isn't usually the best course of action at an adult league soccer game, but when said opponent continues to curse at you and make inflammatory remarks, you have to do what you have to do. I was very close to walking away, but the last turn I made when I looked into his eyes just tipped me over the edge. Fortunately, no one punched anyone, and both teams continued playing the second half. Dances with Wolves prevailed 5-1, and I am suspended for the next game of the season.

Fun fact of the night:

We have a rematch with this team on the last day of the season. Broken legs anyone?

Got Poison Ivy

Rebecca, you've inspired me. All this tweeting and such (follow me at www.twitter.com/brianhorne8) has got me thinking I want to type a bit more. So here I am.

Important things to say? No. Interesting things to say? Probably not. Will anyone read it anyway? I doubt it.

Playing soccer a lot more now. Co-ed soccer is the most frustrating thing you can possibly do in your entire life. Seriously. It's like I cut one of my legs off and have to run around the field with the hope that I get a lucky bounce or something and the ball goes into the goal. It's like getting in a manual car and driving in first gear the entire time. It's like someone put peanut butter all over the field and people just can't move...at all. Try it. You'll probably end up sashaying down the field, then look over and see your mom in the stands watching and for once won't be embarassed, because you'll feel so bad that she's wasting a lovely evening by watching some middle-aged adults and her son play the most anemic brand of soccer known to man. It's that bad. Don't do it.

I'm also playing some tennis with middle/late-aged men on Monday nights. I guess when you get out of your teens and into your early/mid-twenties (man, that's weird to say), you are relegated to playing sports with people much older than you. I've been on a steady sporting decline since I turned nineteen...

I also got doggone poison ivy (thanks Mom!) by doing yardwork. Apparently our azalea bushes are infested with the stuff, and my arm is showing it. About four nights ago I got no sleep due to incessant itching.

I guess after writing all of this, the main conclusion I can come to is this:

If you are twenty-two years or older, just stay inside your house. There is nothing out there for you.

She was Nice, but...

I woke up this morning with the anticipation of cooking American flag pancakes and sitting down to watch college football. I ordered ESPN Gameplan yesterday (they did not pay me for the promo right here; everyone loves free advertising) with the confidence of my wonderful cable employee who, for the life of me I cannot remember her name, assured me that I would receive all the football I could handle today, and for the remainder of the season. With all of this in mind, and in a cheerful mood, I awoke, made my pancakes (although I opted for a decidedly un-American take on them this morning), and sat down on my couch, prepared to enjoy Auburn football. This was not to be.

Long story short...I ended up on the phone/online for over an hour, and thus missed nearly the entire first half of my beloved Auburn Tigers' game against Southern Mississippi.

Gotta love Comcast.

*The lady at Comcast was nice though. I enjoyed her brief company yesterday.

Exactly What the Blog Name Implies...

Apparently I have a blog now. Don't really know if I'll use it. Probably a few weeks then I'll forget it exists. Who's reading this anyway? Probably a person who has six friends but when he calls them they have to go grocery shopping.