Thoughts And Theories From The Road

Copied and pasted from a note I wrote on Facebook, while in the passenger's seat of my car:

As Bryanne and I make our slow creep back to Chicago via car, we have begun to make various observations about the roadgoing public's driving habits. These observations may (or may not) surprise you. Here are a few (and forgive my spelling, this is from the passenger's seat via an iPhone):

1) People brake unnecessarily. Why do they brake? Based on our findings, it is generally due to bridges, overhead signs, or an empty lane in front of them. If there's no good reason to slow down, you can bet other drivers will.

2) People are afraid to merge, plain and simple. They are just terrified of moving out of their lane (which is coming to an end) until the last second possible. Consequently, the timid drivers around them are scared witless, and begin to slow down.

3) The left lane is the new right lane. This wouldn't normally be an issue, but due to the aforementioned theory that people cannot merge, both lanes in any given four lane hlghway (I say four lane, meaning two and two) are jammed up, forcing real drivers to slow.

4) People slow down when a police officer has someone pulled over already...on the opposite side of the road. Yes, I promise that unless you are shooting a gun as you drive by, the cop will not come after you. People of Alabama, you are the worst about this.

5) Smoking while driving requires that you ride the brake while accelerating. This has happened multiple times in front of me today.

6) We are better drivers than anyone else on the road.

For the record, this is all coming from the passenger's seat. Don't text while driving. I can make that number seven. Just don't.

Feel free to add more, and remember, you just aren't as good at this thing as we are. You are a reason this list was made, though you can learn from your mistakes. Safe driving!